Coffee

UCLA Vending Machine Coffee Review

by Mr. Ramdolfi

Having had the opportunity to revisit my collegiate stomping grounds over the weekend for UCLA’s Centennial Alumni Day, I chose to revisit my old $1.00 go-to cup of coffee. It tasted just as I remembered it.

For this you will need some context. I generally avoid coffee vending machines at all costs, but one fateful day during my junior year, a fraternity brother discovered that one machine was broken granting coffee for $0.10 instead of $1.00; and the rest is history.

As a broke college student, I drank so many discounted cups that I must have saved enough to pay for tuition. Needless to say, I was devastated when the glitch was fixed. Now as an alumnus, I (fully) patron “Premium Gourmet Coffee Hot Drinks” every time I have the chance to taste a sip of undergraduate memories.

Review: From the moment it leaves its charmingly filthy machine, this cup is a unique creation specifically designed for the disadvantaged college student. Out of its name’s four adjectives, the only that rings true is Hot — and it make up for the lack of Premium, Gourmet, and Coffee! The word searing comes to mind and it makes sense, it’s a known fact that the hotter the coffee the less you can taste the quality. But then it cools down and you’re in for a treat. Synthetic milk powder and sugar blend into a silky substance, with subtle hints of coffee, that is sure to disappoint upon graduating.


At $1.00 for the small and $1.25 the large, this cup will most definitely keep you going during those all-nighters (the sugar rush alone will do that), but if what you are looking for is coffee, you’re better off going to Bruin Cafe, or just about anywhere else. Cheers! The Ramdolfi Score: 2/10.

(Featured Image by: Mr. Ramdolfi)

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